How to get your baby to sleep: routines and tips

If you're reading this article at three in the morning with a little one who just won't close their eyes, know that you're in good company. A baby's sleep is one of the most common concerns for new parents. The good news is that much of what seems like a problem is actually normal. In this guide, you'll find out how sleep works in the first few months, how to build a peaceful routine, and, above all, the rules for helping your baby sleep safely.

How much does a baby sleep?

In the first few weeks, a baby sleeps a lot, generally between 14 and 17 hours a day according to the National Sleep Foundation, but does so in short blocks of two or three hours, day and night. The reason is simple: their stomach is small and they need to eat often. Their internal clock, the circadian rhythm, is not yet mature and does not clearly distinguish day from night.

Between 3 and 6 months, many children begin to concentrate more of their sleep during the night and have longer periods without waking up. But the differences between one child and another are enormous. Sleeping through the night is not a milestone reached on a fixed date, and even children who slept well can start waking up again during growth spurts, teething, or phases of major motor milestones, such as learning to sit up or crawl.

• 0-3 months: about 14-17 hours total, divided into many naps.
• 4-11 months: about 12-15 hours, with 2-3 daytime naps that decrease over time.
• 1-2 years: about 11-14 hours, often with one or two naps.

These are indicative ranges. If the child is growing well, is calm, and active when awake, they are usually getting enough sleep.

The rules of safe sleep

Before talking about routines and tricks, the most important thing: safety. International recommendations and those of the Italian campaign for the prevention of SIDS, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, are very clear and based on years of research.

• Always on their back. For every nap, even a short one. When the child is able to roll over on their own in both directions, they can choose their position, but they must always be put to sleep on their back.
• A "bare" cot: firm mattress, fitting snugly against the sides, fitted sheet. No pillows, padded bumpers, stuffed animals, or duvets.
• In the parents' room, but in their cot, at least for the first 6 months. Bed sharing increases risks, especially with very young babies, if parents smoke, have consumed alcohol, take medications that cause drowsiness, or are very tired.
• Never sleep with the baby on the sofa or in an armchair: it is one of the most dangerous situations.
• No smoking, neither during pregnancy nor in the house or car.
• Watch out for overheating: cool room, light clothing, no hat for sleeping indoors. A properly sized sleep sack is a safe alternative to blankets.
• Breastfeeding, when possible, is associated with a lower risk of SIDS.
• A pacifier at bedtime can be offered, without forcing it, once breastfeeding is well established.

If the child falls asleep in a car seat, stroller, or carrier, move them to a flat position in their cot as soon as possible.

How to create a bedtime routine

In the first two months, it is difficult to talk about times: you follow the baby. But even a few weeks in, you can start introducing small cues that help distinguish day from night, and from 3-4 months, a real evening routine.

Day and night, two different worlds

• During the day: natural light, normal household noises, play, and chatting during feedings.
• At night: low light, whispered voice, diaper changes only if necessary, minimal interaction. The nighttime feeding is a time for care, not play.

A simple and repeatable routine

The routine works because it is predictable: the child learns that a certain sequence leads to sleep. It should last 20-30 minutes at most and be sustainable every evening, even when you are tired. An example:

1. a warm bath or a quick wash with water (the bath does not have to be daily);
2. a gentle massage and pajamas;
3. feeding or milk in a room with soft lighting;
4. a lullaby, always the same, or a board book for older children;
5. in the cot, with always the same "goodnight".

From 6 months and up, bedtime stories can be introduced, which will become a valuable ritual in the years to come.

Helping them fall asleep

There is no single right way. Some families rock, others breastfeed until sleep, others put the child in the cot while still awake. All are legitimate choices. However, if falling asleep has become very long or difficult for you, you can try gradually:

• putting them in the cot drowsy but not completely asleep, staying beside them with a hand on their belly;
• using a background sound that is continuous and at a low volume, keeping the device away from the cot;
• keeping the room dark, with at most a warm and dim night light;
• gradually reducing your involvement, without rushing and with consistency.

Responding to a baby's crying does not "spoil" them: in the first few months, the child needs to feel safe and your presence is their main regulation.

Nighttime wakings: what is normal

A baby's sleep cycles are shorter than adults', about 50-60 minutes, and at the end of each, it is easy to wake up. Here are the most frequent causes of wakings:

• hunger: in the first few months it is the main reason and it is right to respond;
• wet or dirty diaper;
• hot or cold: touch the back of the neck or the chest, not the hands, which are often cool;
• growth spurts and new milestones: the brain works hard even at night;
• teething or minor discomforts.

To understand how the child's abilities change month by month, and why certain nights are more restless, read our guide on developmental milestones in the first year.

Daytime naps

Daytime naps do not take away from nighttime sleep; on the contrary: a child who sleeps well during the day often sleeps better at night too. Some practical tips:

• in the first few months, children stay awake for short periods, often between 45 minutes and an hour and a half;
• as they grow, wake windows lengthen and naps decrease in number;
• the same safe sleep rules as at night apply to naps;
• a mini routine, even of two minutes, helps the child understand that it is time to rest.

The ideal room for sleep

• Temperature: cool, ideally between 18 and 20 °C.
• Darkness: blackout curtains for naps and summer evenings.
• Air: air out the room every day and never smoke inside.
• Safety: no cords, blind cords, or objects hanging within reach of the cot. When the child starts moving, it is worth re-reading the guide on how to make the home safe.

And you? Take care of yourself

Interrupted sleep is tiring, and parents' tiredness matters. Some ideas that help many families:

• sleep when the baby sleeps, at least once a day, even if the house is not tidy;
• split the nights with your partner or a trusted person, if possible;
• accept concrete help from friends and relatives;
• talk to the pediatrician, the clinic, or the doctor if you feel very down, anxious, or exhausted. Asking for help is an act of care, for yourself and for your baby.

If you are still preparing for the baby's arrival, in our essential baby list you will find everything that is really needed for sleep, and nothing superfluous.

When to call the pediatrician

Contact the pediatrician if the child:

• snorts loudly, has pauses in breathing, or breathes with difficulty during sleep;
• is unusually drowsy, difficult to wake up, or does not wake up to eat;
• cries inconsolably and differently than usual;
• has a fever, especially in the first 3 months of life;
• does not grow as expected.

In case of severe breathing difficulties or if the child does not respond, call 112 immediately.

Frequently asked questions about baby sleep

When does the baby sleep through the night?

There is no exact age. Many children have longer periods of sleep between 3 and 6 months, but it is completely normal for a child to wake up at night even up to one or two years.

Can I let the baby sleep on their stomach if they sleep better?

No. Sleeping on their back is the most important measure to reduce the risk of SIDS. The child must always be put to sleep on their back, even for naps.

Is the cot bumper useful?

Safe sleep recommendations advise against padded bumpers, pillows, and stuffed animals in the cot, because they can obstruct breathing. A firm mattress with a fitted sheet is enough.

Do I need to wake the baby for the feeding?

In the first few weeks, or if the child is growing little, the pediatrician may advise not to exceed a certain number of hours between feedings. Ask them for the guidelines for your child.

Does the evening bath help with sleep?

For many children yes, as part of a relaxing routine. However, it does not have to be daily: even a quick wash with warm water can serve as a cue.

What temperature should the nursery be?

A cool room, ideally between 18 and 20 °C, is considered ideal. Avoid covering the child too much: check the temperature by touching the back of the neck or the chest.

Sources and further reading: Ministry of Health, campaign for the prevention of SIDS and safe sleep; Italian Society of Pediatrics; American Academy of Pediatrics, recommendations on safe infant sleep (2022); National Sleep Foundation, recommended sleep duration by age. The information is general and does not replace the pediatrician's opinion.